All about economy on the web

Intelligent negotiation is the ability to get what you want without coercion, using relationship-based, emotionally intelligent persuasion. It’s the secret of successful negotiating with anyone for anything.

Negotiating is not about using strategies to defeat your opponent and walk away from the table a winner in a competitive world. It’s all about developing a process through relationship building to win people over.

Managing relationships plays a critical role in negotiating. Relationships give people a level of trust and confidence in each other, facilitating communications and making it easier to cooperate. Three social physiological foundations form the basis for relationships; similarity, liking and reciprocity. Add these ingredients to a something the other party wants and you get a crucial negotiating asset: trust.

Negotiation is seldom the same as conventional salesmanship, but in the area of relationships, there are common features. First, “face time” matters. The more you work with the other person, the more familiar he or she becomes with you, laying the groundwork for a functioning relationship.

The second trigger for the liking response is a perception of similarity between you and the other person. Even something as elusive as personal style can be enough to strike a chord of similarity.

Reciprocity means that we tend to do things for people who do things for us. It can be observed at the bargaining table when people take turns making concessions. Reciprocity can also take the form of mutual exchanges or resources, services, emotional support, statutes and information.

You can benefit from the reciprocity system even when the person whom you’re negotiating with doesn’t owe you any personal favors. All you need are allies who are willing to use their networks and associated reciprocity systems to help you get what you want.

In the world of electronic communications, there are a dizzying number of choices for building relationships. For negotiating purposes, there is no substitute for meeting face to face. However, this is bad news because in today’s multitasking world, convenience usually trumps judgment when it comes to developing relationships.

When you want to build a relationship with a person whom you’re going to be negotiating with, take the time to meet face to face. If conflicting schedules or distances make this impossible, spend some time composing a careful message.

Research shows that e-mail messages are more likely to be successful if you personalize your note and build some rapport, forecast the agenda, and then get to heart of your negotiations. Don’t send until you reread your message and edit it with an eye to how it will be received.

Credibility comes down to other person’s perceptions of three key things: competence, expertise and trustworthiness. Thus, your credibility resides in other person’s mind. This means you can lose it in a single moment of poor judgment, miscalculation or misconduct.

Whereas people give you competence-based credibility when they think you have accomplished something worthy, they give you expertise-based credibility when they think you have specialized knowledge. If you’re respected enough, expertise can overcome even the most socially awkward negotiation, but now matter how slick your negotiating techniques are, you will never get what want if you show a lack of expertise.

When it comes to data, your credibility will depend on the reliability of your sources as wall as you expertise. You should try to find out what sources the other person considers reliable. By showing reliability and integrity in everything you do, not just when you’re negotiating, you build the foundation for people to trust you.

Written by: Joe Love

We also suggest this relevant article if you have time: What Are the Six Laws of Persuasion in Negotiation?

Some other similar articles

• Negotiation Probes
• Resist Like Water
• When Negotiating, Does Skepticism Pay Off?
• What Are the Six Laws of Persuasion in Negotiation?
• How to Fire People in a Nice Way